AN INTERVIEW WITH CELIA STRAUS

QUESTION: Why did you decide to begin writing prayers for your daughter?

ANSWER: I started writing prayers for my daughter, Julia when she was twelve, going on thirteen, and began experiencing many of the physical and emotional changes of young adolescence. Previously our communication was continual and close, but now there were new barriers to overcome every time we talked. Now I "didn’t understand" and was hopelessly "out of it". Also, there seemed to be no time to talk because both our lives were over-scheduled. So I started composing an original prayer each night for her to pray before she went to sleep as a new way of communicating that I understood what she was going through, and that I cared. The prayers were a way I could stay connected to my daughter on a daily basis.

QUESTION: Why did you choose to write prayers instead of poetry or notes?

ANSWER: I chose to write prayers in words that my daughter might say for herself because I wanted to give her tool to strengthen her faith in herself, her world and God. Prayer is a dialogue with God. The process of prayer is in itself empowering, nourishing of the spirit. I didn’t care if she prayed the whole prayer or just a word or sentence. I often wrote the prayers in verse form only because that made them easier to remember. What matters is that prayer, unlike poetry, anecdotes or affirmative statements, assumes faith in something greater than oneself. That something is God, and faith in God is what gives us, in this case, my daughter, inner strength.

QUESTION: Prayers On My Pillow is an interesting concept. You have written 150 prayers specifically for girls on the threshold of change. Why did you choose to write prayers for girls, in particular, and why this age group?

ANSWER: I wrote these prayers for girls because I had daughters. If I had had sons, I would have written prayers for boys. I also wrote them for girls because I remembered how I felt as a teenage girl. I wrote prayers for this age group because young adolescence is a time of vulnerability and change when girls often need an extra dose of self-confidence, courage, faith in their own instincts and values, humor and, of course, love.

QUESTION: You’re not a priest, a psychologist, a poet or a scholar of religion. Did that make you nervous, writing a book of prayers for other people to pray?

ANSWER: I originally wrote the prayers for my daughters’ personal use, not for a book to be shared with the general public, so I wasn’t nervous since I didn’t think anyone else would be reading them. However, once we – my daughters and I – decided to share the prayers with others, I made a commitment to understand the process I used to write the prayers and to be able to talk about it. When I start worrying about what people may say, I remind myself that, as a professional writer, I understand the difference between writing from the head and writing from the heart. And that the first prayer and all the hundreds after it came from the heart. As long as I stay focused on who they were written for and why, there’s no reason to feel nervous.

QUESTION: Why are these prayers unique, and how do they work?

ANSWER: The prayers are only unique in that they were written for a unique person. This personal quality is contradictory because it also makes each prayer universal. They work because they are based on a basic three part concept: First, they acknowledge the existence of an Infinite Deity whom I call God. Second, they look at life from the perspective of the girl who is praying. And, third, they acknowledge and respect the girl’s inner self. Each prayer then connects and integrates the three. The actual progression or process is simple and powerful. There is a substitution of negative energy or thoughts with a positive act of faith in the three part concept.

QUESTION: How have these prayers changed your relationship with your daughters?

ANSWER: The prayers have improved our ability to communicate with each other as well as strengthened the bonds connecting us as a family. Additionally, as the prayers enhance each daughter’s self-confidence, she becomes more trusting and understanding of her relationship with others including me. On the other hand, the prayers work magic, not miracles. We still argue and act out our anxieties and fears. But the foundation of our relationship remains solid and lasting.

QUESTION: Teenage girls face so many day-to-day pressures, whether it be to lose weight, to dress cool, to succeed in school, or to impress friends. How do these prayers help teens cope with these burdens.

ANSWER: No matter what life issue a prayer addresses – a problem to be solved, an anticipated challenge, gratitude, despair, loneliness or boredom, the process is the same. An experience or perception of the teenage girl, along with her ensuing emotion is recognized and then put into the context of Inner Self and God. Within that loving and secure framework, the prayers gently remind the girl of what she is capable.

QUESTION: What changes in self-confidence, risk-taking, self-image and relationships with family and friends, do these prayers facilitate?

ANSWER: The prayers enable the girl to cope with change with more confidence in herself and in the power of God to sustain her. The prayers encourage girls to look inward rather than outward for the strength to solve their problems. Girls are then able to discover and tap their strong inner selves to cope with change.

QUESTION: What are the theological underpinnings for these prayers?

ANSWER: The prayers are nondenominational. They are based on the basic three part concept that acknowledges the existence of an Absolute Being (God), the reality and perspective of life of the girl who is praying and the strength of the girl’s inner self. The prayers are not guilt-based. The word is never used. They present universal truths and values that the girl can trust and rely on such as fearless faith in God, love, self-reliance, self-empowerment and ethical behavior.

QUESTION: How spiritual are you, and what do you personally believe about the power of prayer?

ANSWER: I consider myself spiritual, but not particularly religious. I’m Christian, brought up Episcopalian, and my husband is Jewish. Like most interfaith couples who marry and have children, we dealt with our religious differences by pretty much avoiding the topic entirely. However, I do believe in an Infinite Being whom I call God, an afterlife, and the power of prayer. Prayer works magic because it taps into our own spiritual energy that is as real and as powerful as gravity and that exists in all of us whether we acknowledge it or not.

QUESTION: How do your daughters feel about your sharing their personal prayers with the world?

ANSWER: An indication that the prayers have made a positive difference for Julia and Emily is that both girls agreed to share these prayers with others. Naturally, the book makes them nervous because, at this vulnerable time in their lives, they have made themselves even more exposed –to questions and comments from adults and peers. Although it has been nearly four years since I wrote the prayers, they still have personal resonance for both me and my daughers. At the same time, all three of us believe the prayers can and should be made available to other girls.